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Friday, July 9, 2010 • bad bad day
Have been a really cranky mood for the past few days. Mood swings are coming and going as if they are my best friends. And i jolly well know what the reason is... to make things worst i have an extremely bad sorethroat now. Kinda reminds me of the days i had to endure when i took my toncils off via a surgery. FUCKING PAIN LAH CHEE BYE!
Stayed up whole night just to get my answer from her, well i got it. It was because she was busy and tired. To an extent of replying a text message to stop me from thinking so much was unachievable. I had no choice but to accept it although i didn't really wanted to deep down in my heart.
This is what a simple reply would do, it would calm me down.. stop me from thinking so much.. and also make me happy. It also allows me to stop worrying about you because i know nothing bad has happened when i am not around you. I know, i have no right to expect anything from you. That is why i can't say anything to show my displeasure.
What else can i say? i would very much comprehend actions like these if typing a text message takes 30 minutes, all i can do now is just tell myself YES it takes 30 minutes.That way i will feel better because i know you do not miss me as much as i miss you. And honestly i hate that feeling, because it sucks.
And yet, i have never thought of giving up well at least not yet. It's because i keep telling myself repeatedly that you are worth it, worthy for me to give a try over and over again. I could stay up the entire night just to talk with you for a simple 5 minutes, but if it was you ... would you even think about doing something like that for me?
Nah i don't think so, because you don't think i am worth it in comparison with how much your valued in my heart.
Stayed up whole night just to get my answer from her, well i got it. It was because she was busy and tired. To an extent of replying a text message to stop me from thinking so much was unachievable. I had no choice but to accept it although i didn't really wanted to deep down in my heart.
This is what a simple reply would do, it would calm me down.. stop me from thinking so much.. and also make me happy. It also allows me to stop worrying about you because i know nothing bad has happened when i am not around you. I know, i have no right to expect anything from you. That is why i can't say anything to show my displeasure.
What else can i say? i would very much comprehend actions like these if typing a text message takes 30 minutes, all i can do now is just tell myself YES it takes 30 minutes.That way i will feel better because i know you do not miss me as much as i miss you. And honestly i hate that feeling, because it sucks.
And yet, i have never thought of giving up well at least not yet. It's because i keep telling myself repeatedly that you are worth it, worthy for me to give a try over and over again. I could stay up the entire night just to talk with you for a simple 5 minutes, but if it was you ... would you even think about doing something like that for me?
Nah i don't think so, because you don't think i am worth it in comparison with how much your valued in my heart.
Sunday, July 4, 2010 • updates
Hello dear blogger. It's been a few days but im back :) had a mahjong session with chuwei, mimi and nigel at my place a few days ago. It was really fun especially when you're winning :P had some serious family bonding yesterday. Went over to my auntie's place for dinner and went to buy my lap top fan! well, at least it helps bring down the temperature a little ... i hope :P
Nothing can express my heartfelt thoughts regarding the world cup, honestly i wanted brazil and argentina to play in the finals. Didn't really expect them not to reach the semi finals, well in life not everything you wished for goes smoothly right?
Caught a movie with my parents and my brother today, it was Ip man again. There seem to be never ending sequels to this movie. It wasn't as good as i thought it would be, anyway who the fuck in the world is Dennis To? some new super kungfu star wannabe. How lame, i can't even believe my mum talked me into catching this show with her. I still think Donnie Yen owns all for this role :P
Here i am, counting my days back to the land of chocolates. Not to say that im looking forward to working but actually it's kinda beneficial to personal maturity level to be earning your own keep :P im having mixed feelings now as the days of my departure for 2 years approach quickly. Anyway i will get used to it, the pros and the cons? something consoling may be i'll be able to see her soon, the sad thing is i might not be able to see my family until 2 years later. Of course i wanna see my friends too! especially those that are in our group, the malaysian gang and of course my lovely indonesian roomie.
However, much as im totally looking forward to see her. I don't think she feels the same? maybe i think too much but, i guess i can't help feeling that she's still so cold to me. I don't know if things are going to change for the better or for the worst. But i really really hope that she'll start opening her heart to me, at least it makes me feel that i mean something to her.. till then im off now :)
Nothing can express my heartfelt thoughts regarding the world cup, honestly i wanted brazil and argentina to play in the finals. Didn't really expect them not to reach the semi finals, well in life not everything you wished for goes smoothly right?
Caught a movie with my parents and my brother today, it was Ip man again. There seem to be never ending sequels to this movie. It wasn't as good as i thought it would be, anyway who the fuck in the world is Dennis To? some new super kungfu star wannabe. How lame, i can't even believe my mum talked me into catching this show with her. I still think Donnie Yen owns all for this role :P
Here i am, counting my days back to the land of chocolates. Not to say that im looking forward to working but actually it's kinda beneficial to personal maturity level to be earning your own keep :P im having mixed feelings now as the days of my departure for 2 years approach quickly. Anyway i will get used to it, the pros and the cons? something consoling may be i'll be able to see her soon, the sad thing is i might not be able to see my family until 2 years later. Of course i wanna see my friends too! especially those that are in our group, the malaysian gang and of course my lovely indonesian roomie.
However, much as im totally looking forward to see her. I don't think she feels the same? maybe i think too much but, i guess i can't help feeling that she's still so cold to me. I don't know if things are going to change for the better or for the worst. But i really really hope that she'll start opening her heart to me, at least it makes me feel that i mean something to her.. till then im off now :)